'Rules are rules, sweetie': Beachgoers tell lifeguard to enforce the rules, lifeguard finds petty rules to enforce on them

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jul 24, 2023 11:00 AM EDT

This beach is full of old money folks who are used to getting their way. As u/fumples explained in their story to r/MaliciousCompliance, they had to deal with some rather irritating women who made it their goal to police everybody at the beach. 

Going to the shore for a summer vacation is the highlight of the summer for those who live along the coast. It's common for families to plan a few days of relaxation at the beach, where the kids can build sandcastles and play in the waves, while the adults catch a nap or read a good book. The Jersey shores are known for attracting hordes of people to their boardwalks, where you can mini-golf, snack on funnel cakes and ice cream, and ride amusement park rides on the piers. It's a classic wholesome good time for all, and lifeguards help to keep everyone safe while in the water. 

That didn't stop these two women from telling the OP how to do their lifeguarding job. They had a really silly request, which had no reasoning beyond wanting to control someone else. At least the OP was able to make the women regret spoiling someone else's beach day. Scroll down to read the entire story. 

Then, read about how this truck driver got back at their boss who left them 11 voicemails in a day. 

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  • 01
    Blue - '... This is our beach, we've lived here for 10 years, so we know the rules around here'
    via Ryan Loughlin on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - "Rules are rules, sweetie" M edited: formatting + some grammar I'm a seasonal ocean lifeguard at a pretty upscale beach town on the Jersey Shore. Now, it definitely has its ups - because we are dealing with lots of wealthy people with no real-world problems, the general attitude from beach patrons is very positive. Lots of respectful old money, so it's no Santa Monica full- time-social-media-influencer-part- time-piece-of-s crowds. I am a
    via u/fumples
  • 03
    Font - pretty easygoing lifeguard and give lots of warnings, because I grew up on the beach and broke many beach rules myself so I try to focus on safety in the ocean instead of nitpicking the responsible adults drinking a beer that's covered by a koozie. But I can be firm. And there are some bad eggs.
    via u/fumples
  • 04
    Font - There are several different types of guarded beaches - regular beaches, surfing only beaches (no swimmers), and bathing only beaches (no boogie boards, large inflatables). Last summer, I'm guarding a bathing only beach. I see two parents take their two really young kids into waist-deep water, far away from all the other bathers. The kids have a pair of swimmies (inflatables that go around your arms) and a very small inflatable ring. Technically against the rules, but they're far away from
    via u/fumples
  • 05
    Font - Two older ladies come up to me and ask me "Are you going to tell them they can't use inflatables? They've been out for awhile now and you haven't said anything." I respond politely "They're not bothering anyone, and their parents are clearly teaching them to swim so I am going to let it slide." The one lady gives me a defiant smile and says "Well this is our beach, we've lived here for 10 years, so we know the rules around here". Funny, because that would still give me seniority by almost
    via u/fumples
  • 06
    Font - You're right, ma'am. Rules are rules. I go out to the parents, apologize, and tell them they can't have inflatables in the water. They seem confused, I explain it's because someone with nothing better to do complained and I can't do anything about it because they're technically right. But I have a plan. I run back to the stand, and wait for the inevitable. I glance behind me and see the ladies go back and start taking out sandwiches from a cooler that they brought. I grab my torp and head
    via u/fumples
  • 07
    Font - stunned. "It says here, rule 22 section b of the local ordinance," pointing at my official laminated beach ordinance card, "That 'picnicking', meaning the consumption of prepared food products, is not permitted on the beaches during guarding hours," One of the ladies, in all her hypocrisy, stammers out "Y-yeah, but come on, everyone is eating on the beach! Don't be ridiculous!" "Sorry ma'am, rules are rules."
    via u/fumples
  • 08
    Font - You can't even describe how good that felt coming out of my mouth. The one who initially said it looked at me, went to say something and stopped mid-syllable... they both broke into a series of oh come on, this is stupid, etc, and I said "listen, you can eat on the beach. But I hope you learned the point I'm trying to make. Live and let live." They shook their heads in disgust. I walked back to the stand smiling.
    via u/fumples
  • 09
    Font - She called the shack (lifeguard headquarters) complaining an hour later. Captain brought me over next morning during roll call, smiling, said to me not to do that again. Good times.
    via u/fumples
  • 10
    Font - Edit: When I spoke with the family with the two young kids, I pointed them to a beach two blocks down (short walk) where they could use them without fear of cranky beach patrons tattling on them. They were more than happy to take the 2 minute walk. Tl;dr - Don't dictate rules to the person who's job it is to know them.
    via u/fumples
  • 11
    Smile - LockeNCole Your boss is absolutely right. You should never do that again. You should have never let the women off.
    via u/LockeNCole
  • 12
    Font - kosull18 Welp, we know who to keep an eye on from now on. And if she asks to be let off "I'm sorry ma'am, but someone may call my supervisor and complain. Wouldn't want to cause trouble. Rules are rules, I dont make 'em. I'm just asked to enforce them."
    via u/kosull
  • 13
    Font - lectricpharaoh So what was her complaint? That you threatened to enforce the rules after she demanded that you do so, or that you let her disregard them and keep eating? If she shows up again, and tries eating, then enforce that rule. If she questions you, look pointedly at her, tell her that after last time when you bent the rules for her, someone (stare at her as you say this) complained, and your supervisor instructed you 'not to do that again'.
    via u/lectricpharaoh
  • 14
    Font - fumples OP I should have done that but the truth is they weren't really being all that evil towards me. Just petty as h. I think that making the point was more important than enforcing the rule. Especially after I spoke to them I think they knew just how petty they were being.
    via u/fumples
  • 15
    Font - DarkNymphetamine. ...of course. Rules are for everyone else. /s
    via u/DarkNymphetamine
  • 16
    Font - mgerics +1 ...could have enforced it, but then have to tell everyone else who was snacking to stop-then just point out the two 'ladies' who started the whole thing...
    via u/mgerics
  • 17
    Font - fumples OP Maybe. I think that by banning everyone else from eating (it's a beach, EVERYBODY brings food) I would have risked being just as petty as I was accusing them of being. My job is most satisfying when I am watching over a beach full of people that know that they are safe and have respect for me. I would rather be known as a protector rather than an authority figure. I
    via u/fumples
  • 18
    Font - fear that forcing potentially hundreds of people to abide by an entirely unfollowed rule to prove a point to two beachgoers would diminish mine and my patrol's reputation and integrity. They learned their lesson
    via u/fumples
  • 19
    Font - caelric Yeah, I would not have let them continue eating. Direct them to the lifeguard director/captain/boss/w hatever if they had any issues. I would also watch them like a hawk every time they showed up, for any rule violations whatsoever.
    via u/caelric
  • 20
    Font - Tommy84 No inflatables allowed, no al hol allowed, no EATING allowed?! Remind me to never go to your beach, it sounds terrible.
    via u/Tommy84
  • 21
    Font - fumples OP That's one of two beach blocks in the town that have rules against inflatables. Boze and picnicking are officially against the rules, but the only thing we enforce is no grilling, b ozing I usually don't say anything about unless the kids look underage or you're running around out in the open with bottles. Most beaches on the Jersey Shore have the same regs, believe it or not.
    via u/fumples

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rules karens waves jersey shore lifeguard kids beach sand inflatable snacks family food karen children the beach New Jersey beaches
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